A conversation guide for elders considering pastoral coaching

Agree on a constructive purpose

Before the subject reaches the pastor, the board agrees on why it wants to offer support. Name the season: a decision ahead, a team that is changing, a long stretch of demanding work. A good purpose describes the work, not a shortcoming.

If the board cannot write that purpose in two sentences everyone agrees with, take more time. The conversation goes better when the board already knows what it hopes for.

Ask what would help

Let one or two trusted members raise it, and offer rather than announce. Suggested wording: "We want to support you in the work ahead. Would a coaching conversation be useful, and what would you want it to help you think through?"

Then listen closely. The pastor’s answer may point somewhere the board did not expect, and that answer is the right place to begin.

Talk about experience and approach

Ask the pastor what kind of coach would help. Some want someone who has led a church through the same season. Others want a structured process, or simply a steady thinking partner. Those preferences matter more than a résumé.

Let the pastor help choose

Coaching depends on trust, and trust starts with choice. Share the board’s hopes, then let the pastor take part in deciding who to work with and whether to begin at all.

Settle scope, payment and reporting

Before coaching begins, agree in writing on the goals, the length of the arrangement, who pays, and what information, if any, the board receives. Paying for coaching does not mean the board hears what is said in sessions. Most arrangements share progress on agreed goals, in the pastor’s words, at agreed points.

Set a date to review the arrangement together, so it can continue, change or end without anyone feeling judged.

Five-question worksheet

1. What work needs attention?
2. What would useful progress look like?
3. What kind of coach would help?
4. What remains private?
5. When will we review the arrangement?

Print this page and bring it to your next board meeting.